Before You Blame the Employee

Underperformance conversations come with the territory when you lead people. 

They’re uncomfortable. They’re necessary. And they’re rarely simple. 

But before I sit down with someone about performance, I’ve learned to ask myself something first: 

What is my part in this? 

Because performance doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It’s influenced by clarity, workload, support, alignment — and leadership. 

Before you focus on correcting the individual, take a step back. 

1. Have I been clear — really clear — about expectations? 

It’s easy to assume people understand what “good” looks like. 

But did I define it clearly? 
Did I explain priorities properly? 
Have I reinforced what success actually means in this role? 

Ambiguity creates inconsistency. 

2. What do I know about this person at their best? 

This matters. 

What are their strengths? 
Where have they previously delivered strong results? 
What are they capable of when they’re engaged and confident? 

If there’s a gap between what I know they can do and what I’m seeing now, that gap deserves exploration — not assumption. 

3. Am I looking at facts — and is this a pattern? 

What are the actual examples that concern me? 

Is this a one-off mistake, or is it sustained behavior? 

And have they been properly equipped? 

Did they receive the right onboarding? Do they genuinely have the skills and tools needed to succeed? 

Accountability is important. But it has to be fair. 

4. Have I unintentionally overloaded them? 

This is one I see too often. 

Have I kept adding to their responsibilities without resetting priorities? 

Are they clear on what truly matters — or does everything feel urgent? 

And I also look at my own behavior. 

Am I sending constant follow-ups? 
If I opened my laptop and saw six emails from my manager first thing in the morning, how would that feel? 

Pressure builds quietly. 

When people feel permanently behind, performance will suffer. 

5. Has something shifted? 

When performance drops suddenly, something usually changed. 

Was there a difficult situation? A leadership decision? A team issue? Burnout creeping in? 

Sometimes there’s a tipping point. You won’t see it unless you ask. 

6. Have I addressed this early enough? 

The longer issues sit, the harder they become. 

Avoiding the conversation doesn’t protect the relationship — it damages it. 

Early, honest feedback shows leadership. Silence creates frustration. 

7. Do I understand what motivates them? 

Not everyone is driven by the same things. 

Some want progression. Some want stability. Some want recognition. Some want meaningful impact. 

If I don’t understand what drives them, I can’t expect them to stay engaged. 

Sometimes, performance issues are really alignment issues. 

8. Have I been authentic and transparent? 

Have I been as honest with them as I would want someone to be with me? 

Have I explained how their work connects to the bigger picture — and why it matters? 

Or have I assumed they “should just know”? 

Mixed messages erode trust. Clarity builds it. 

9. Have I considered how they might be feeling? 

People don’t stop being human when they walk into work. 

Health challenges. Family pressures. Personal stress. It all shows up eventually. 

They are not just a resource. They are a person. 

If I don’t understand how they’re experiencing their role right now, I’m missing critical information. 

And if I don’t know the answers to these questions, that tells me something too. 

I don’t believe “I’m too busy” is an excuse when it comes to your people. 

They contribute to your success. They help you run your business. They carry your strategy forward. 

If you want the best out of them, you need to know them. 

Final Thought 

Performance conversations are about accountability. 

But they’re also about leadership ownership. 

Before you blame the employee, make sure you’ve reflected on your part. 

Often, the solution isn’t more pressure. 

It’s more clarity. More honesty. More alignment. And more time spent leading properly.